I can only speak my truth based on my inner observations. So far this is my explanation of the meaning of karma and dharma. Since I am now experiencing dharma I have realized that karma does not have to be in my reality. My past karma was only there to help me with life lessons, once I learned about my flaws it ended. The only definite is the law of cause and effect or consequences. This belief that if I hurt someone then I will reap what I sow, but this is man-made ideas. This is basically saying if I do negative things then I will have to e punished for it.
The cause was me hitting her face, but there are many effects thereafter, such as my hand feeling pain, her face is bruised and so on. If she and her family come back and beat me, this is then the consequence. These two examples are not karmic.
Karma is only real when we live out of our true nature, not completely being ourselves. When our false identity doesn't measure up to our unrealistic expectations, we attract punishment.
For example, I should have known better, I wished, or I could have, this is being too hard on ourselves. This is how we create continuous suffering internally, then it happens externally. But This is not true at all, I only attract what I feel that I deserve based on how I feel about my worth, this is only going on in the unconscious mind. The subconscious mind is very powerful. The world is filled with so much cruelty, then some would ask how come bad people do not suffer, this is because they do not believe in the concept of hell. Others would think that they have something coming. Believing in strife is beliving in hell, this is the reason why we keep suffering in the first place. Those without a conscience don't have guilt and are shameless, there is no inner struggle of emotions to bring them harm. Instead, they live in a constant state of fear.
We all have an aura that surrounds our bodies, just like Magneto. His electromagnetic field around his body pulls in and pushes out energy. Our auric field pulls in energy that manifests as people, places, things and situations., Thoughts are what we push out, then things happen. Since we are magnetic, this is the reason why they say the law of attraction works. We first receive in the mind, then we send out signals to attract what we want, then it returns. We do not always get exactly what we want because we are not aware or conscious of what is in our subconscious. We have to become fully aware of our deepest intentions to understand our results.
I wanted to become conscious of my thoughts, I began to see how I was on autopilot. I witnessed that every time I had chaos and suffering in my life, it related to my past life. I was running from my past just like everybody else. Every time I had an external conflict, I looked back at a past issue that was ruining my behavior, I wanted to reconcile with my past negative experiences so that I could have a more positive attitude. By the time I reconciled with all of my anger I became self-aware, I no longer needed to be hard on myself.
I began looking at the way I treated myself, I spent many months in self-reflection. I had to fast, put social media on hold, television, news, alcohol, drugs, and partying because these activities were the cause of self inception. Living for the world kept me focusing on what was out there, not inwards. I later started eating healthy foods. Finally, I was no longer ashamed of who I am, therefore I naturally rappelled negativity. Loving myself unconditionally helped me stop self-ridicule and self persecution.
No one can push my buttons because I am aware that I am the best person that I can be regardless of my past. Not caring about other's perceptions of me helps me to stay in the state of Dharma. I no longer find time to hurt others because of my inner anger, my anger and emotional baggage for myself was replaced with self-love and self-acceptance.
Karma is then something that is only happening in the mind, it's only real because we adopted this belief system.
What seeds am I planting in my mind that is causing me to attract or repel things? if since I was grieving then I was thinking from a place of grief. I used to constantly plant seeds of grief from my past traumatic experiences, this is self inception. My sadness was causing me to have a depressing reality. I kept making decisions that kept me in the state of grief, I was always disappointed, I never felt satisfied no matter what I did or have. This is saying that I perceive myself as a depressed person and that I am only capable of recreating more disappointing experiences. This was part of my personal karma that kept repeating and repeating until I looked within me. A couple of years of inner work, I was eventually able to take off my outfit as a depressed person, I am now back to being myself.
When I began self-healing everything in my life begin to get better, that's because I am now seeing inwards, clearly. I once kept opening myself up to allow abusers to take advantage of me, I was constantly taken for granted. I once ignored my own emotional health because I cared about how others perceived me. I realize that everyone was only treating me based on how I felt about my own myself image, this is when I realized that we are not victims. My shame created my victim mentality, this inner process was fueling my desires, but my desires were causing me more pain and suffering. We have needs and wants, but desires are just to hide our inner pain by looking for more to feel good inside.
This meant that my perception of myself was I'm a victim, therefore I kept experiencing more abuse situations in my life. I used to neglect my inner pain by trying to fulfill my desires, but this was promoting self sabotage. So then I was attracted to others with abusive behaviors, this began as an internal process first in my mind. I had to self reflect because I was attracted to the same people with the same negative habits. This is also why some women would say that there are no good men out there because they keep attracting the wrong ones.
This happens because they are looking for their father's love in another man. To attract true love we must first love and accept who we are total. To end this karmic cycle, I had to forgive myself with gratitude, and also forgive others for what they have done to me. Self-forgiveness created self-love which reconnects us to our inner child. I am now living in my heart space, this is where our innocence stay. Since I am now living with peace of mind, I am no longer upset or disappointed at myself. I took off my mask, I am now able to make loving choices so that I do not hurt myself or others. If someone is hurt then it's a matter of pride.
I can now express myself freely without fear of rejection and fear of judgment. My new feelings are this is a win, win situation, even if others do not want me to win with them. When we are not conscious meaning we are not moving from our hearts, we then want things to go only our way, the ego is fearful and insecure. I had to stop trying to control others so that everything goes my way. I used to always have to be on top to feel safe. Allowing others to be who they are ended that karmic cycle.
Running away from my past was just fueling my karma, my regrets kept me trying to fix my past, so my current reality was consumed by sorrow. Instead of grieving from my bad choices, I decided to see what I could learn from it. When I let go of the past I began to start something new. My failures meant that it wasn't meant to be, now I am clear of what I want.
I accept that I am not always right, and I was not supposed to already know. Whatever happened was meant to be to grow and mature. Learning from my mistakes removed karma, but ignoring my regrets was repeating sorrow.
Feeling ashamed of myself was feeding my karma, we all create personas to pretend to be someone that we are not. But when we don't measure up to our false perfect image we then develop shame. Our ego comes with unrealistic expectations because we don't know who we should be. I felt ashamed only because of who I thought I was supposed to be, we are all just acting anyways. My old perception of myself used to be I am a nobody, I am not important.
I was once stuck in a psychological practice of needing to prove to others that I am important so that I can feel good about myself. This caused me to have a lack of self-control, I was very dominant and arrogant, my pride caused me many fights because I kept trying to outdo others. Being overlying competitive was fueling karma. I was acting because I once lacked personal power, so I couldn't just completely be myself. This was because I was thinking from a place of shame, therefore I kept making the same decisions that cause me more shame.
I did not like myself so I needed others to like me, this put me in a position where I kept being abused over and over and again. I repeatedly missed out on great opportunities and lost very important people because of my pride, shame just creates more blame. Once I accepted myself I realized that I am a good person, I was later able to experience self-approval. This kind of karmic cycle then ended.
I had to observe my past and observe how it made me feel about myself, and then see how it corresponds to all of my current situations. Also how my past experiences corresponded with how others treated me. My internal wounds was still affecting mind. I began to see how I was not happy no matter how much I ran away from my inner pain. It was easy to say I need a better lover, I need more money, or when I finally have this or that, then I will feel better about myself. My life will be problems free, so I thought.
My abandonment issues caused me to behave a certain way, my fears caused me to keep losing my friends. Fears will cause us to put up a brick wall so that we push others away. We think we feel safer with our false identities, pride is self-destructive. I had to face my shame to let go of who I thought I used to be to renew myself. This way I completely accepted myself with no regrets. Repeating self-hate was an everyday struggle, I no longer have to live in self-ridicule and self-criticism. I create my own standards, and no longer needed status.
My guilt was causing me to repeatedly bring more chaos into my reality. Guilt was the cause of most of my external suffering because I kept trying to correct my wrongs which is not possible, so I continuously self-sabotaged myself. My self persecution was fueling this karma. This is saying karma is the new Devil that is out to punish me. Our minds are so powerful that we keep recreating self-punishment. Our magnetic field pulls in people, places, circumstances, and situations. We repel danger with a positive attitude by learning to do better for ourselves and others.
I realize that my wrongdoings were meant to be so that I can bear witness to my personality flaws, now that I have seen my internal conflicts, by working on myself I now have become a better person. I was once hard on myself because I thought that I was supposed to know better, but that is a fantasy.
All of my insecurities were causing my karma, getting out of my comfort zones released karma. My insecurities were holding me back from experiencing new things for happiness and joy, instead of repeating the same issues in my life. My procrastination got me nowhere. Sometimes we can become comfortable staying fearful, shameful, lustful, prideful, selfish, hateful and judgmental, only because I never truly felt safe. I had to be all of who I am without shame to have newer experiences. I once felt broken within, so I was always broke no matter how much money I made. Spending more to please my pain through us of unnecessary desires.
Being broke and poverty is a karmic situation because poverty is not a permanent reality. Many feel like they lack something within, basically, they think that they can not be themselves which is what manifests as prosperity and wealth. Feeling broken because of man's laws of what makes one rich. It has nothing to do with money, it is our state of mind and how we express our natural inner beauty that creates success. I had to find my own way and then my own style, I had to be bold and be authentic, and most important I had to stop comparing myself to other spiritual teachers, healers, and philosophers.
Self-judgement also fuels Karma, I was constantly judging and criticizing others because I was subconsciously doing it to myself. I used to constantly compare myself with others, I had to make sure that I was better than others, but this caused me to fight others to prove or protect my identity. When my false identity that I created died I was then allowed to see that we are all equal, there was no more need to compete with others, because I was no longer in conflict with myself. This way I was able to tolerate others that I did not like and allow others to be who they are.
Compassion keeps me in a state of dharma which put me in a state of bliss, therefore I am now able to make reasonable choices because I am thinking from my heart, not my mind. Living in a state of fear was keeping my karmic cycle going. Now I do not allow my past to interfere with my now moment. For me living in dharma kept me safe from harm because I am now aware of my causes which are in my past, I know how to discern now so I have pleasant effects.
Why do I really want to take this action, what is the cause, is it greed, lust, fear of not being loved and approved, to show off to the world? Well, I can now see the effects when it is not in alignment with my soul. Remember Peace Comes In Pieces
