I went on a spiritual journey because I wanted to get to know myself better, I would say more on an intimate level. The awkward question, who am I? We have to go on a quest, this means that we are questioning who we are and what is the meaning of the life that we have lived so far. The more we understand ourselves, we get a better understand of our past choices and a deeper meaning of our past experiences.
Me, before being conditioned by external life experiences, before developing a full personality, a mask, an identity, an image, and certain behavior patterns. This is before the I, ego, identity, or image for external validation. Babies and younger children are considered pure or innocent because they have no ego connected to a false identity or image. This is why they do not judge themselves like older people do, they do not identify themselves as the body or ego mind, they run outside naked. They trust strangers because they do not judge.
Me is consciousness, a non-judgmental heart like Christ, a baby, or a young child. This is why you put a group of children with mixed races, they do not see race or gender, that is a pure heart or consciousness. They do not identify themselves as the mind or the body just like Christ on the cross, just the heart, a connection to our spiritual being. Me is when the heart and mind are one and have not been separated, as many age to fit into the superficial world, they separate mind and heart.
When a man or woman goes on a spiritual journey for ego death, this is giving up the mind and body to be the heart, if he succeeds and dies for eternal life, he is now conscious or spiritually enlightened. He or she wanted to go back to the baby awareness, the innocent Me. The body and ego get in the way of the silent me, consciousness, a pure heart.
This is why the depiction of Christ on the cross is that way, he gave up the ego mind and the physical body, that is your physical body and the 5 senses, and your ego mind, 10% of the brain or the conscious mind, the left brain. The body, your image, your false identity, who you think you are, must die. You will then experience the deeper me, consciousness, the authentic you. When the conscious mind and subconscious mind merge again, one becomes spiritually enlightened, a child's heart, fully awakened in the body. The me.
Myself is your personality, this also includes your character flaws if you have any, your identity, and your image, this is all from external conditioning. Our life experiences can have an impact on the way we think and behave, and our attitude towards life. Many use a false identity to mask their personality flaws, especially around others, we can learn to accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all, this self-love is called unconditional love. The quest to experience self-awareness will allow us to know who we are, and understand our personality.
I may be greedy and stay on auto-pilot thinking that I am just being my authentic self. If I become aware of my character flaw, I can now catch myself when that behavior tries to act out and cause more problems in my life and relationships. With self-awareness we can clean out as many character flaws as possible, this way we find our balance, meaning self-control. I will never go overboard with my behavior, positive or negative. Some flaws may be too difficult to change so we just do our best.
It is difficult to love ourselves if we do not know ourselves, we may not know who is inside to love. Accepting your entire self without judgment or criticism is the key. Knowing and understanding yourself first is the best relationship that you can have, this way your relationship with others can improve.
Observe the way you react, respond, and behave when in social gatherings, silence your mind, and pay attention to your thoughts and feelings without reacting. Ask yourself are you being your true self, what thoughts do I react to? Thoughts and thinking are not the same actions, we can just observe and listen to the mental chatter. We are not the mind or the body. While observing your behavior, ask yourself am I putting on an act to avoid others rejecting the real me? Doing so helps us become self-aware.
I or the Identity is used to avoid the brokenness inside. When we do not accept our entire personality, we avoid the bad feelings from our character flaws, not feeling perfect inside. Our insecure feelings come from low self-esteem, for example, we create an identity to feel accepted by others. The Identity is a sedative for us when we cannot bear the pain of feeling flawed inside. When we cannot accept ourselves as we are, sometimes physical flaws too, we create another false self to feel comfortable with ourselves around others.
The problem with not loving ourselves unconditionally, we may become jealous of those who naturally have high self-esteem, those who feel great about themselves, and those who have no problems with who they are. This is something that many do unconsciously when feeling flawed without knowing it because they are not being self-aware. Paying attention to your thoughts and feelings, we must not change who we are, we must change the bad feelings from the thoughts.
We can validate our own selves as cool and beautiful. Relying too much on the I or identity will keep a person needing to be liked and loved by others first just to like themselves. They always need to be approved, always needing some kind of external validation. In order for us to feel flawless, we must work on self-improvement, so that we can stop identifying ourselves with the brokenness inside, even the physical flaws.
We are originally beautiful, flawless spiritual beings, not the body and ego mind. Your consciousness and spiritual body are always pure and perfect, the real you inside. Ignoring that you are light and love, a spiritual being in the body, will keep you in self-judgment, in guilt, and shame, which is hell in the mind.
Heaven is unconditional for yourself and others, like a joyful youthful child again, lightheartedness. This is why many use alcohol at social gatherings, to dumb down their self-judgment, because of the mental chatter, many are insecure because they do not know who to be, even celebrities that many praise, do not know who they are, so be yourself instead of praising them.
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