As we mature our personal boundaries do as well. I believe that there are 4 types of boundaries, I am not talking about the guard that we put up, that is just part of the shadow self trying to keep us safe.
Your protection or guard that you put up is not your boundaries, instead, your boundaries guard you. When you realize this, you then become completely comfortable in your own body. You feel stable, safe, and secure, just being yourself.
When we do not feel safe in the world, we usually put up a guard around others, how we know this is when we are alone with our favorite pet, we start talking like a child, the real authentic part of ourselves that we hide once around others. The identity is just to cover up our character flaws, when around others, this is not bounderies, that is a mask to feel safe.
This is because of some kind of trauma, we still feel vulnerable, so we put on a mask or some persona, act.
Physical boundaries are simple, not allowing others to touch us unless it is honest consent, and even so, we may not understand ourselves, and still allow someone to touch us inappropriately. Self-respect helps keep others from thinking that they can touch our bodies. Many give up their bodies to appease the opposite sex, we can respect our bodies because it is our only temple.
Even in arguments, if a person becomes disrespectful, they are disrespecting themselves, so it may become violent physical. When we allow others to get away with touching us inappropriately, this can very harmful to our self-esteem, because we matter.
Emotional boundaries, when we do not allow others to use our afflictions against us to have their way. We may still be in grief, and have inner flaws or inner challenges like regret or guilt. My children get the best of me because they know that I try hard to be a perfect parent. We must first respect how we feel, how we feel is always right vs what we think. Others must respect how we feel, but that is based on our own self respect.
Our friends, neighbors and even family know our emotional buttons, we are constantly communicating or gossiping. So many wait to say mean things to hurt others. Once we are aware of our internal issues, we are no longer feeling vulnerable, because once a person tries to manipulate us, we see it. Some may call this emotional intelligence. We know that they are angry or still sad, so they may even gaslight. Many can play with others' feelings to stay on top, they just need to mature.
Mental boundaries are simply not allowing others to get into your head. When we observe and listen more, we are able to respond instead of reacting. When we do not set mental boundaries, we tend to react and may end up regretting it. When you have your own mind, the news is just entertainment, until you further investigate. Having mental boundaries mean that you do not allow others to change your mind. You do not always have to agree, even if it is against 4 people. Peer pressure and gaslighting will test your mental boundaries. Many haters will do what it takes to infiltrate your mind, just be aware no need for a guard. Respect how you think first, hopefully others respect how you think too without having to agree with you.
Spiritual boundaries may sound a little creepy to some, but wearing a cross, gemstones, ankh, amulets, or charms are usually used for spiritual protection. There are many who use spirituality, magic even religion to manipulate others. For example, a person can be filled with guilt, a religious person can have control over that person. Spiritual or religious beliefs can manipulate many, I remind myself that they are just human beings with flaws too.
Unfortunately, when some become aware of information or become highly intellectual, they can move many. You may wonder why certain people in your life always get to you, or get over on you. Sometimes they always have something over you, and you do not know why. This can be a relative, friend, family, or acquaintance too. We are interacting with so many vibes and energy which can cause some to become exhausted, even shifting our moods.
We can learn to protect our own energy, by paying attention to what we feed into our minds. Some would say that they used to date certain people, or used hanging around with certain people, who we associate with are also based on our personal boundaries.
This may sound like a lot, but maturity is an ongoing process. It is very possible for a person to become mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically independent, and is also able to share with the world. That was my only focus while living my busy life.
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