When we feel unloved and lonely, that is the love we have not developed yet for ourselves. The love that the creator has for us is non-critical and nonjudgmental. We allow our ego our false identity to constantly keep us in a state of self-ridicule and self persecution. This is self-hate, the higher self is spirit.
Then we begin to hide our pain by masking it with external desires. I found myself trying to be perfect for this image of myself that I created from past experiences. I was associating my pain and using it to identify myself. I thought that I was pain because pain is connected to the body. This is saying I do not love who I am, this is why I feel heartbroken which is causing my loneliness. I can only feel so lonely because I really did not know who I was. Loneliness is just I miss my inner child.
Now I am finding myself yearning for a love life, by looking to be with someone in a relationship. I thought I was this insecure person, I began to question who am I and what are my intentions for my external desires. Long story short I was just seeking my parent's love within others. I was also bullied and taken advantage of.
I decided it was time to love me again, to accept my personality flaws and all, and love all of me without conditions. This type of self-love is equivalent to god's love for us, which is nonjudgmental. I worked on healing my internal wounds instead of just my physical needs.
When I felt secure and happy without being in a relationship, this meant that I am now ready. I am now open to receive genuine love. But then how to attract a secure person? Well, I must first change who I thought I once was, a broken person who was yearning to be loved by others. I had to change to attract my equal, so I stopped chasing love and instead wait with patience. Desperation can attract disaster.
I have been through a lot, and I did not have a healthy relationship with my parents, so I had to rewrite my history. The bad history that I kept identifying myself as kept me in a state of emptiness. I was once filled with so many insecurities. I once had a false impression of myself, my negative feelings about myself created self-limiting behaviors.
I decided that it was time for me to be the authority of my own self-worth. I no longer allowed my parents and past abusers to dictate who I should be. I decided to just rewrite a new future for myself and see where my path takes me. Peace comes in Pieces.
